Graciousness Begins At Home
One of the things that attracts many parents to Montessori education is the ethos of graciousness – or, in more everyday language, good manners. Maria Montessori knew the importance of good citizenship and getting along with others in education. Politeness is an old-fashioned value, and a value that never goes out of fashion, because manners make it easier for people to get along with each other. Manners are the oil that helps ease the friction that inevitably occurs when people work and play together.
Good manners and graciousness are just as important in the home as they are at a Montessori early childhood centre. Nobody’s too old to be polite (or too young) and it’s at home that friction happens most often. Parents should insist that children be polite with each other – and parents should be polite to each other and to the children, too.
Politeness isn’t the same as formality. You can still be at ease and casual around your family while being polite. The author C.S. Lewis compared good manners at home and away to clothing – you might wear old jeans and a T-shirt at home that you would never wear to the office, but you wouldn’t “wear the same shirt until it stank”. And bad manners at home stink!
Parents should insist on the following at home, for themselves and for their children:
- Saying please when asking for something;
- Replying with “yes, please” or “no, thank you” when offered something;
- Saying “excuse me” when someone’s in your way;
- Not interrupting when someone’s in the middle of talking
- Respecting each other’s personal space (but hugs are always welcome for everyone);
- Greeting each other in the morning and when someone arrives home;
- No put-downs;
- Responding when you’re spoken to, even if that response is only a mumble;
Asking before using someone’s things.
